All we need is a stare…

Our life is ours not because of us, but because of the people and things who are in it. Many a time we keep running with our so called work and fail to take a break and spend time with those people and things who make our life.

                        As a child someone asked me what I loved doing. I was quick to retort that, “I love staring!” At walls, at people, at the deep blue sky, even at my books :-P (waise tho, given a chance I’d do anything but study with them) I just got a simple reply to my answer: A bloody cold stare as if I had attempted to kill that person.  But even then, I loved her stare, I loved staring at that person! Because, life according to me, is a string of thoughts woven by bundles of stares.

                        Consciously or unconsciously we ponder about what we like, whom we like or who likes us. Pondering makes us reflect upon what we have and what we don’t. When you know what you have, you’ll figure out whether you like it or not. When you know that you don’t like what you have, you’ll figure out what you really want. That is it!

                        Life is all about discovering simple truths. It is not about digging your thoughts deep for discovering an eternal secret. At least for me, there is no quest that I intent to do as I like what I’m doing. If at all I were to get set and go on a mission to discover something, that would be to locate a lost sock, some hidden money and unearthed pair of old jeans! :-P

                        A ‘quarter’ may be the crisis to some in life. Presently I have this ‘quarter life crisis’ which I have no clue how to solve! Thank God life is like nature because whatever chaos it creates, it will restore peace on its own! Believing in that magic, I set forth everyday hoping that it will turn out to be great… For someone who believes that every eye is the beholder of a million stories, it is impossible to keep staring, to keep visualizing.

                                    Many a time in life, all we need is a small thing of joy that will charge our batteries. Someone sarcastically said, “During an exam, everything in this world becomes interesting except studying. Even staring at a wall!” While most of us see the sarcasm in it, I see the reality in it. If what we are studying was interesting, we wouldn’t be staring at. I stare at the walls as I feel there s something intriguing in it.

                        I believe that the theory behind staring at a wall has more mystery surrounding it than the big bang theory. Someone rightly said, “Some questions are best left unanswered.” Because the moment we figure out our reason for staring at the walls, we would stop to go behind those intriguing thoughts which shall give answers to many of our ‘life matter’. (read in ‘3’ movie Dhanush’s style ;-))

                                    This note is simple enough to substantiate the fact that life is just a string of thoughts. I started to write this note with some thought in my mind I ended up writing many other thoughts that came along. Life is never definite. It is like water. Just as how water takes the shape of the container that it is stored in, life takes the shape of people who live it. (4^th standard science. ham ne pada tha, lekin apply karne ko bool gaya! We have studied about it. But forgot to apply it ;)

                                    Sadly, only some of us realise the fact that life is meant for living. If life was a destination, we would have been immersed in catching the right bus/train/flight to reach it. May be that is why life is just a journey. We just need to keep proceeding to figure out what is the next nearest destination.

                                    Referring to the fact that life is like water, people might ask what would happen if we led our life not caring about the shape that is it taking. Always remember, water from its point of origin is very pure. It is purer at the end of its journey. It is in the due course that it takes the turn of impurity. Some rivers choose to keep themselves clean, while some let it get dirtied. There are some more who love being dirty, some who clean the dirt. Life is just like those thousands of rivers. We choose to be clean or not. CHOICE IS NOT JUST THE ESSENCE OF ECONOMICS BUT ALSO LIFE!

                                    Teen favourite author Chetan Bhagat feels life is too short to be complicated. He says, “It is just 2500-400 weekends max! Don’t complicate it by worrying too much…” Life is just you. If you were to define yourself, you are restricting your room for improvising on your abilities and work on your short comings. Similarly, if you define life, you lose your right to modify it. There is just one definite thing in life, It is called ‘Life!” Whether we choose to live or not, life shall exist. IT IS IN OUR HANDS TO MAKE LIFE LIVELY, LIVEABLE AND LOVABLE .

                                                If life were to inspire us from just one point or angle, there would be no big change in it. Life is a kaleidoscope, full of changing patterns.

                                    Now to give a reason for me writing this note. It is just one simple thing: I write because I unwind this way. I connect with myself with what I write. I write because I have a story to tell. I have written this because, I am living my life!

                        The next time when some one asks you what do you do in life, just say, “I LIVE IT!” We need to ‘KISS’ our life damn it! That is, keep is simple, silly ;) ;) 

The Power of a Smile :-)

After 5 minutes of wait at the TVS bus stop, I boarded a very crowded 23C on a rainy evening. Chennai is one city where we can survive the hottest of hottest days in summer, but not a slight drizzle on a rainy season! Phew... here a drop, there a squeak... Yikes! just one word. Period.

MTC bus passengers are very united. You don't have to wade through the crowd with great difficulty. They will ensure that you swim across the horde of people by the push that they give you! :P

There was a mom-daughter duo sitting in the seat where I was standing. The mom was a typical Indian mom who scolded her daughter for texting incessantly. The girl gave the typical look which meant, "Mom! stop being bossy. I can't stop texting. I'd rather choose to die!" The mom gave me a polite smile to which I responded back courteously.

People can act silly and cheap than you can ever get to imagine. A guy and a girl (read it as a pair- a term that most elders refer to a boy-girl :P) were talking to each other. They were standing to my left. At one point, the girl suddenly felt giddy. She was offered some water and a seat to sit. I felt pity and expressed the same to her through a gentle smile. But to my horror, I found her texting to that guy, "Eppudi en acting?? This is how I get a seat on a crowded bus!" Cheap bitch, I said to myself.

Bus is an interesting mode of travel. People from all walks of life can be found travelling with us. Every eye beholds millions of stories and every stop can help us befreind many souls. Some stamp your feet and give a stare as though we have committed a grave error by letting them stamp us! Some scratch you as though you are the best Item girl on Earth. Some others give a dirty stare when you ask them to hold your heavy bag. But there always few who seem sane and more than happy to help. 

As the bus neared the Anand Theatre signal, a woman in her early twenties got into the bus hurriedly. She seemed to be busy talking over the phone. I said to myself, "What on Earth do people have to talk to each other endlessly? Do people have to update if they boarded a bus, if they were in the first step, second step and finally inside the bus...? crazy people." It was at that moment that I felt TRAI should fix limitations on even voice calls!

But the girl's story seemed to be something different as she seemed to be speaking something important. She didn't have an i-Phone nor a blackberry. A simple yet evergreeen Nokia 1100 that solves the basic purpose of a cellphone. Her phone was worn and torn badly. Proabably not worser than what she felt inside her.

I started to listen to her phone conversation as she stood next to me. She was drenched in the shower that poured minutes ago. Yet she didn't seem to bother about it much.  

An english translation of her convo:

"Listen. I can't send mom extra 1500 bucks this month. It may be Diwali month. But my salary doesn't double that month :(

I earn the same 6000 rupees. I send her what ever I can save other than my rent, food and travel expense. She can't be this harsh. Last month, I borrowed Rs. 2500 from Sundar sir. I am yet to return that. That man seemed to be all smiles when he lent me. But now, he is all rough and tough, demanding the money from this month's salary. Whats worse is if I don't give him, he might snatch it from my salary cover and then give the rest to me. "

I was starting to feel sorry for this girl. And the next moment due to a harsh brake, I hit her to realize that she was boiling with fever. She explained it in her convo to her friend saying she was sufferring from fever for the past 2 days and hasn't been to the doctor. Sha said, "I can save some 100-200.  I didn't go to the doctor cuz I know I'd not die otherwise!"

Her convo continued:

(from what I could understand, her friend over the phone was offering some money to manage this month's additional expenses) her reply: "Hey how much will I keep borrowing from you? I am yet to re-pay you last month's money."

(her friend is still insistent) She: "I am very sorry ya! It maybe pleasurable to give, but its painful to be on the receiving end always!"She continued to talk about her woes for that month. "Listen. Mom need not buy dress for my sister's-in law's nephew's marriage. Things are going out of control. I have pending rent of about 1000 rupees. Where am I to pay that from? Sometimes I just wish I could cry... But I realize I can't waste that time! Cuz everything is money to me. Why can't people postpone their needs for sometime? I have been doing that all my life. If I wanted to live a life of my dreams, my family would have starved. Ok. let's put a simple calculation. 2500 to Sundar sir, 1000 + this month's 500 to Rent. My mess fees Rs 1200, bus pass renewal Rs 160 + mob recharge Rs. 140. That is Rs 5300. :( :( :(

Mom wants Rs 2000 this month! Where am I to rob this from? Engrossed in listening to her conversation, I just realised that bus had crossed DMS and was now nearing SIET.

When I saw SIET girls clad in a Burkha, I envied them for the first time. I thought, "If everyone covered their face like these girls did, we could hide our emotions always!" I just wanted to gift that girl over phone one, immediately, so that she could hide her face from harsh strife of life and escape to serenity. Tears rolled out of her eyes while she was still over phone. Realizing that she was in a bus, she cut the call and controlled her tears.

Nandanam signal's wait did not seem to be a harsher wait than that girls story. Saidapet was nearing and I had to get down. Something was troubling. I knew I can't change her life. I was no Magician. But I felt an urge to gift her a nice, warm smile. That may not change her difficulties. But it sure shall give her the courage to fight life.There I did. I gave her a NICE, BIG :-) :-) :-) before I got down. She smiled back! I knew I hadn't changed things much. She knew it too. But we both knew, we expressed something inexpressible! I had gifted her the courage, the strength, and the will to overcome one of the toughest crisis of her life. We both learnt that no matter what, "Life has to move on!"

I got down, she got my seat and also my smile! :-) :-) Life is too simple to be complicated and too complicated to be simple. We might always complain of a bad life that we have. But have ever thanked God for what he has blessed us with?

"I used to complain about not having a pair of slippers. I stopped it when I saw a man without legs!" -Arabian saying

Such is life. Let's stop complaining and Start giving. A smile costs nothing, yet gives a lot. Keep smiling and spread cheers :-) :-)